Life in an office

I have worked in an office before. Hearing what goes on in other people's lives... hearing about others problems and offering advise when asked(sometimes not). And asking for help when something comes up that you have no solution for.

This office is NOTHING like that.

Maybe it is because I am not just an office worker. Maybe it's because there is only one person on duty at a time... I don't know. But I am in a place now that I have not been in before. I guide the course of the business. I have to come up with policy's and procedures. I have to deal with discipline and if need be terminate an employee. I have to make decisions about advertising, equipment, client recruitment, and finances. I have people around me who I ask about what would be best... but as I have come to understand... They leave the decision to me. And that is a heavy burden to bear.

Amy and I were talking about the economy and our business... and she said that it was always my dream to own a business... and that is not exactly true. My dream, as I am sure most Husbands dreams would be.. is to provide our family's with the best life that can be achieved. Some mean climb the cooperate ladder, some find a niche and dig in... staying the course and providing a steady life for there families. I was a teller. I did move up and was an ATM teller... but I was at the top of that ladder... then I changed banks... and was a teller again. Baring returning to school (and I don't know what degree I would try for) I have no idea what I wanted to do... then this opportunity came along. An opportunity to DO something. TO BUILD something.... and I moved on it.

Now in the midst of "running" this business... I find myself out in the middle of a vast lake bed. I can see shore all around... but nothing else. I don't know what direction is the right one and I am spinning around trying to figure it out.

What does that mean. It means that standing still gets you nowhere. I don't know other than that.

more later.
M