My life has drasticly changed and i'm not sure exactly what direction i'm going. I use to be a working business owner... I didnt work 8 to 5... (sometimes) but I did work. I made LOTS of mistakes and I still do... but it was something I Did. I felt responsible for my business... almost like you do for a puppy. I also feel responsible for my employees... a lot really and still do.
However my wife and I have been twice blessed with twins. Through logic and lack of funds to pay the 1k for daycare... I have taken on the roll of Mr Mom. A movie about just this event was on tv the other night... and it is very accurate. anyway... just like the movie... I am not very good at being Mr Mom.
My wondrful wife always made it look easy. Things just got done. I'm not sure it that was my "man" side just not thinking about it... or if I just didnt think about it. either way, I have a GREAT respect for you moms.
Not being good at it bothers me. I know its better for my kids to be cared for by me than someone else... but they can do it better than me. That part is really ok. Maybe its because im not good at the "home work". but I know Amy didnt ALWAYS get it all done...so thats ok too. maybe ... its like what my dad has gone through. having always been the provider he is lost now that his health has taken his working ability away...
Maybe its because i was a mediocer business man... and now I'm also just a so-so mr.mom.
I have so many ideas... and not much follow through.
i rededicated my life to Jesus last sunday. i've been reading the bible more often and singing more too. I just dont know why I feel like this or what to do about it.
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